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‘I love you Burt. Today my grandchildren come to say goodbye. New complications incompatible with life have been discovered and the pain is intractable so I am on comfort care only . Only immediate family is allowed to be here but I wanted you to know how much you and your kindness have meant to me. My children will be in touch as they know too’ -dubose Forrest 92125

my reply:

Dubose, I am beyond heartbroken. My best friend , I love you and I’m hoping and praying 🙏. Words cannot express what I’ve been feeling . You will always be in my heart wherever you are. . You are an angel sent from above and you’ve given given given like nobody else. Hard to go on but I will do whatever I can to support Chris and your family and especially you. I’m sorry I can’t see you in person but at least this way we can express feelings. My last few years have been my best thanks to meeting you with your unparalelled friendwhip..  I’ve never had a friend like you and never will. I have a lot more feelings but will pause for now and pray pray pray for you at special services tomorrow. This is not goodbye but solong for now. We will see each other again.

Short But Oh So Sweet Friendship

Only a few years ago I decided it was time to reach out and finally try to find a good friend or two in the city I’ve been living in for 25 years while engaging my music passion. I went beyond my usual reserved nature and started a music meetup group. We had a couple or three sessions in my tiki garden that were ok but less than spectacular . The only thing that saved those sessions were two people among the five or six who attended and those were Dubose and Chris. We had had some problems with two of the other attendees who wanted to take over the music agenda . So even in ending my meetup sessions after only a few I considered them a success because I met these two wonderful people Dubois and Chris who would become my first real great Lafayette friends in 25 years. And that was the beginning of a wonderful friendship that would last only a few more years but what great years they were. In Dubose and Chris I had met among the kindest, most non- questioning, down to earth people—–people I haven’t been able to find in this well healed city where, unfortunately, folks often wear that wealth on their sleeve, so to speak. And I didn’t mean to leave out there managerie of wonderful animals. Like me it was important for Dubose and Chris to have furry friends around them, friends who couldn’t readily speak their mind but leave it to dubose to figure out and communicate with them as only she could.

So Dubose and Chris and I decided we could have our own little sing-alongs and play alongs on our own even if it only meant having  three people. Dubose and Chris were generous enough to host these gatherings at their beautiful home . And it worked wonderfully.. And it wasn’t just about only music singing and playing but it was about discussion and sitting around having good food we shared in potluck style but mostly dubose’  great cooking. In fact , it went so well that dubose told me she decided to restart larger sing-alongs at her home as she had done going back a decade earlier In addition to the small ones. Where those bigger ones didn’t last due to the same problem we were having at my get togethers and which had ended her bigger ones a few years back but we continued to have our small get togethers until  recently, singing playing discussing eating in good old fashioned  friendship I haven’t been around much in recent years.

On my last birthday in April Dubose went out of her way to give me one of my best birthdays ever by taking me out with her and Chris to a new restaurant (for me) and then take us back to play and sing together at her house. She was the only one among my friends to go out of their way to do something like that for me. That’s just the kind of person she is, along with Chris. Always thinking of others much more than herself.

Dubose was always looking after her family and especially her grandkids-even when she began having more and more health issues. I worried about her but she said how important it was for her to give her grandkids the positive attention and activitiy (as a grandmother) she never had as a kid growing up . (And I could certainly relate haven’t had a loving but absent workaholic father). workaholic

Where I go from here I don’t know. I hope somehow dubose  can pull off a miracle and stick around for some time. It will never be the same without her. My life and a lot of others will never be the same without her but I will go on living with Dubose always in my heart and living each day with her in mind.